Thanksgiving 2018

Thanksgiving 2018 is now history. Time doesn’t stand still. Life propels us forward.

Ours began with a drive to a pathway, which sits at the foot of our mountains. Six miles walking and talking was a breeze. The briskness of the early morning was soothing to my soul.

A little down time before we put our hands to the task at hand – our thanksgiving spread. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy…the works.

Out table was set for all of us, including an “empty chair” for our Angie. We stuffed our faces with no other sound than our grubbing. Once, completely stuffed, we each shared what we were thankful for. So much could be said. And, yes, my heart was so incredible grateful. That “empty chair” didn’t cause me additional pain…it was simply “appropriate”.

Angie was “not” missing, she was fully present in our hearts and minds. AND, we were able to enjoy each other and continue to make memories.

Not perfection, just the next step in the process

~~~Spring always follows Winter~~~

Grateful

Because there is always something or someone to be grateful for. I am grateful for:

♥♥♥The Living God who conquered death and the grave. Without this hope, the grave is a horrifying pit.

♥♥♥My husband and son, and my son’s girlfriend. Love, understanding, care, and so much grace.

♥♥♥My daughter. 30 years by my side, loving me unconditionally and allowing me to be her guide.

Every day, every breath…a gift. Every moment an opportunity to make memories that will last for a life time. May today be filled with gratitude, no matter what is happening in your neck of the woods.

From our family to yours, HAPPY THANKSGIVING

My Family

Greetings from from my neck of the woods, and no I am not little red riding hood 😉   Thank you to all the new follows and likes. Whether you visit or stay a while, I am grateful for each and every one of you fellow sojourners.

Some reasons I Write… And I Write…

I introduce to you my beautiful family. This picture was taken at my 50th birthday party. It was a time of great celebration and joy. Little did we know what was around the corner, however, this day was a day of making wonderful memories. Tomorrow is not here, yesterday is past, today is what we have. Those around us are precious gifts. Let us lavishly love! Let us dance like nobody is watching, and even if someone is watching…let them see YOU – dancing, crying, smiling, splattered on the floor…let them see the real you. TODAY is a gift…what will we do with it?

Depth

I read this on a page in FB called Introvert Nation:

“I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on inside your head when you don’t even understand it yourself.”

On a total side note, I think I’m an introvert…just sayin!

Anywho, I decided to do something I used to do (in the dinosaur ages, so it seems). I used to write in a more “today” kinda-way, with a sort of pondering/meditating to the flow of the writing piece. Although I really enjoy writing in any kind of way.

In my FB Memories a video popped up from 3 years ago. It gives 5 points that encouraged and prompted me to “guide” my thoughts. Encouraged by Natalie Goldberg when she said, “if you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you.” Here goes…

1) Own Your Own Happiness” – I’m 52 years old. It doesn’t matter what I’ve done. I can’t please all of the people, all of the time. It’s exhausting! Critics are everywhere. I’ve been a professional and a stay at home mom. I’ve had my children in public school, private school, homeschool. I’ve been crazy out in the world and settled and homie (some critics would still say that I’m still just plain-ol-crazy…hey, they might be right!). Just to name a few things…and I’ve been criticized for every single one of them.

2) Challenge Your Own Story” – I hate the word “victim”! I dislike being pitied! I’ve been molested, raped, assaulted, beaten, BUT I refuse to let this define me! Each “season” I’ve lived and, by God’s grace, have come THROUGH has made me who I am today. However, I will not stay quiet about who I am and where I’ve been. No shame in my game! This season of my life has me sunk in deep sorrow and grief from the loss of my beautiful daughter. I deal with crying all the time, thoughts of suicide, PTSD, panic attacks…AND I’m not ashamed to talk about it or write about it. I don’t need to hide (unless it’s a really bad day, then I’ll be under the covers for most of the day).

3) Enjoy the Journey (NOT just the destination)” – Today is a gift! Be fully present. Enjoy the baby years; the toddler years, even the teenage years of your children. Enjoy those soccer games, baseball games, valet, recitals. Enjoy the house full…the empty nest will come soon enough. Enjoy that you can jump and run and eat whatever you want, cause, people, I’m here to tell you that “season” comes to an end really quick. Enjoy the sunrise, that sunset…the moon and the stars. Enjoy that cup of coffee, that donut or that salad. Don’t miss today while you are stuck in the past or reaching for tomorrow. Celebrate along the way! There is JOY in the process.

4) Make Relationships Count” – Trust even when you’ve been betrayed. Don’t carry others mistakes to the new relationships. Don’t get “historical”, stop keeping lists. This person is here for this moment in time. Friendships are messy (this is a continual struggle for me…still), but still be open to friendships. Know the difference between friends and acquaintances. Some will stay for a while, others just for a moment, but each will leave an imprint on your life journey.

5) Balance Work and Play” – Everything is not serious everyday. Take time to be silly. Take time to laugh. Take time to dance. Your “job” will continue even without you. For 10 months my entire focus was my daughter. We colored, played dots, got pedicures, took naps together…I will NEVER regret having put everything on hold. I’ve been told that now it’s “my time”, that I’m free to do things I enjoy. Guess what? That was “my time” AND life was still happening…it did not stand still. Things were accomplished in those 10 months that stories are of. No mega trial brief could top that time with my girl.

Thank you for taking the time to read. Thank you for “walking” with me. One step at a time is all it takes, and if you need to sit, that’s ok, too 🙂

Seasons

Seasons come and seasons go. None stay for long. Each with its enchanting beauty or with its nightmarish toil. There was a time I had no concept of seasons. I’m sure I was taught about them in school, but I guess it wasn’t important enough for me to pay attention. The weather was either hot or cold, with nothing in between. I recall first being aware that “there was” different seasons, and that there was a “time” of the year in which they took place. I was mesmerized by this new found “lost” information. Why hadn’t anyone ever told me about them? Ha! Well, they had I was just not paying attention.

As life has continued, I’ve become “aware” of seasons in life. However, some life-seasons are as “predictable” as weather-seasons. Some life-seasons can linger far too long, while one aches under its oppressive load. Others, one wishes they had never ended…they were far too short.

Take winter for example. Some places have the beauty of snow, which makes for a winter wonderland. It’s what you see on post cards, on romantic movies. Those beautiful white Christmases. But what about when you are shoveling snow? Frost bite? Wet and frozen toes? Blizzards? You get my point. It also makes “everything” green die all around.

I live in California, so I am not in the midst of snow and such. But I remember a winter that lingered way too long. We had fruit trees in our back yard. Those trees ended up looking like horrid “bushes of dead sticks”. I was so over it. The sight was not one I was fond of looking at every day. I was ready to yank everything out and “start over”. Maybe it’s the “controlling person” in me or the “fixer”, but something had to be done. The gift of “waiting” was definitely not mine. My husband convinced me to wait, which was no easy task.

Come Spring, I was mesmerized by the beauty of “regrowth”. Each bud, each shoot, each sign of “new life” was breath taking. I was grateful I waiting, although not very patiently.

TODAY I’m up to my neck, and at times completely submerged in “snow”. I have “no-shovel”, and even if I had one, I have no strength to “shovel-myself-out”. My winter-season is brutal and frigid. And, at times it feels like it will last forever. However, TODAY, I am reminded of those horrid-dead-bushes in my old backyard. AND…I have HOPE!

~~~ Spring always follows Winter ~~~

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens” ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

My Beginning

“We all begin and end in darkness – the womb and the grave. We’re here to find and share as much light as we can in between the darkness.” ~ Naomi Esther

My Beginning ~~~

Born on April 1966, in Acatic, Jalisco, Mexico, at home. Pregnancy #15 out of 16, most died of childhood diseases or miscarriages. Seven of us made it to adulthood. Of those seven, two have died, one has been missing since 2009. I am the youngest of them all.

A lifetime of experiences which have left scars and wounds. Passionate about going from victim, not just to “survivor”, but to VICTOR. Learning that life is NOT a sprint, but a long and arduous walk along a road that has twists and bends and highs and lows and ups and downs. Accepting those “extreme lows and down” times.

“Our experiences are seeds: they are useless unless planted and our redemption is what grows from them.” ~ Naomi Esther

Each scar has a story. Learning be fearless about speaking “it” out loud. Learning to remember, without getting stuck in the past. Learning to live in the present, and trusting my tomorrows to the One who is already there.

“Scars – I suppose I love my scars because they have stayed with me longer than most people have.” ~ Nikita Gill

THANK YOU to all the follows and the likes. Grateful to share this life journey with you all. Grab some water…the journey continues ❤

 

50 Follows

WordPress just informed me that I have reached 50 follows. Wow! I am humbled!

Thank you! I don’t consider you “followers”. We are all sojourners in this life journey ( The Journey Begins ). I am honored to walk this journey with such great company. Whether you stop by for a visit or stay a while, I am grateful for each and every one of you.

Some of the reasons why I Write… And I Write…

So let’s keep “walking”…the journey continues. Glad to have you along.