Howdy Fellow Sojourners 😀
It has been a while since I’ve popped in here and simply said “hello”. I’ve been mostly laid out. At one point, I seriously considered being hospitalized. Forever grateful for my amazing family who has been here to have the hard conversations and to help me make decisions when my chaotic brain just isn’t functioning.
In the month of May my son and I participated in a Photo Challenge by @whatsyourgrief on IG. A word prompt was given for each day of the month. We would share a picture and write something prompted by the word/picture. It has been really interesting to see and read the different takes from others and specially from my son. Exploring our grief together has been a “gift” to me. Through one of the posts I found @refugeingrief. I’ve signed up for their 30-day course Writing Your Grief for the month of June. These exercises have kept me writing everyday, even if I don’t post here.
Exploring your grief through writing, pictures, drawing, or whatever you find helpful is so important. It’s a healthy way of dealing with all the crazy emotions going on in the human body.
Ready pen continues to write, even if it’s just a “word”.
Grateful for all who visit, stop by or stay for a while. Let’s continue to listen deeply and write freely🖋
〉〉〉 S – C – A – R – S 〈〈〈
each with a story of it’s own
joyful & traumatic – bitter & sweet
visible & invisible – physical & emotional
other inflicted & self inflicted
by strangers, by loved ones, by self
〉〉〉 S – C – A – R – S 〈〈〈
some repulse, others bring a smile
stories of heroism, stories of survival
freely spoken, cautiously guarded, safely hidden
〉〉〉 Scars are part of LIVING 〈〈〈
Motivation Monday! How does one wrap it’s brain around such a lively subject? How does one who lives in a constant state of blah, get motivated to even move? Who would stand in line to watch a dud? Who would pay money to see a flop? Yeah, no headlines here!
The come-back-kid. The rags to riches. The from nothing to somethings are the ones who get the applause, the adulation, the pats on the back. Never disappointing. Always pushing through.
What if the dark abyss is more inviting? What if it beckons one to enter in and never look back? What if in the midst of all the colors of the rainbow, grayness is ones go to spot? Do I repulse you? Do I annoy you? Do I disappoint you?
Can you fix me? Can you pull me out? Do you even want to try…anymore? Like a sling, always coming back to the same-ol-blah.
…What if I’m just…Me
What if I don’t break any records or become famous or stand before crowds
What if contentment is just being “here”
What if I’m not keeping up with the Joneses or trying to be like the Kardashians
What if fulfillment is just being “present”
What if I stopped regretting yesterday or fearing tomorrow
What if joy is for today…?
Perspective – Perspective – Perspective
“Teach us to realize the brevity of life,
so that we may grow in wisdom.” ~ Psalm 90:12
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Howdy y’all 😀
Checking in. Thankfully I have been “gone” but not “down”. It’s been a busy few weeks of memories in the making.
Out of town visitor. Sight seeing. An extremely meaningful birthday marker and celebration. A destination wedding. Meaningful markers and symbols. Guiltless steps forward. Twirling the dance floor with my love. Laughter. Clarity of mind. Awe inspiring views…
March is here. We finally have sunshine and blooms all around. Birdies are singing beautiful melodies.
Writing has been abated, but not forgotten. Routine and discipline are needed, BUT not at the cost of time spent with my family. Changes, changes…always learning to prioritize. The journey continues…
The thought. The decision. The plan. Support in place. The day had come, unannounced and without fanfare. No spiral. No fight. I guess, somehow, she knew it was time. Resolute and steady.
The walk, eternally long, even thought it was only a few steps away. Legs soft as wet noodles, yet heavy as lead. Standing before a sacred place, surrounded by love and support. In an instant her mind flooded with memories – laughs. giggles. good nights. good mornings. hugs. smiles. love —– screams. tears. pain. sorrow. grief…GOODBYE!
Prayer – Deep breath – Prayer – Deep breath
“I CAN’T! Yes, it’s time. This doesn’t keep her alive. She is not here. You are not forgetting her. BUT…I can’t! Yes, it’s time. BUT…“, the tumultuous thoughts flooded her mind. Surrender. Acceptance. Shoulders down. Clenched hands released. Slow and Steady, the process began.
The soft blue blanket, that she loved to curl with. The teddy bear she tenderly clung to. The shirt that draped her little torso. The pillow, where her little head laid; where tears and sweat drenched it’s every inch. Piece by piece…tearing at my heart. WAIT?!?! How does something that has been obliterated into pieces, break even more? Oh, the mystery of LOVE.
And, so, the bed that held her frail, little body; where she was ushered from this life to the next, was stripped of its garments…two months short of the anniversary of the second year of her departure…Another marker…Another step. Propelled and held by love and acceptance. Oh, the mystery of LOVE.
~ winter has passed ~