Flooded at the Sink

Standing over the kitchen sink, dinner in the making. Waves and waves of thoughts flowing through her mind…does that reel ever stop? The memory of her little girl bouncing in, always wanting to help Momma. “What-chu making?”, was the question of the hour. Mom would answer, “Pos, food.” Giggles and rolling of the eyes would follow. Suddenly these precious memories are dampened by the memories of her own childhood.

For The RunawayJunior High doesn’t bring cherished memories, however, Home-ec class yielded some good results. Learning to make spaghetti sauce and cinnamon rolls was a tasty experience. Recipes that are still in practice today.

Ah, yes, the day she learned to make spaghetti sauce was a memorable one. She came home so excited, ready to share this amazing accomplishment (at least she thought so) with her mother. Let’s just say there were no pats-on-the-back or words of affirmation.

Somewhere along the way, mother, begrudgingly decided to let her make this “foreign cuisine”. Oh, how excited The Runaway was! She knew they would like it. Mother bought her all the necessary ingredients and off she went into full mode cooking gear. Mother’s frown and side looks could not dissuade her. However, even though Mother agreed to her cooking this meal, mother still made the regular dinner, cause “who would eat that porquería”.

Let’s just say Dad liked it, a lot. No, he wasn’t like A Father building his daughter up. But, after careful inspection, he scarfed-it down. And, as time went, he would ask Mother to buy the necessary ingredients for his daughter to make this foreign dish.

And so went the wave of memories. Always a mixture of emotions.

Dinner is finished…let’s go eat 🙂

Let’s get Physical

The title alone brings memories a Richard Simmons workout to music by Olivia Newton John. Yes, I’m ancient…haha! There’s a love hate relationship with exercise. You have those obsessed by it and those that curl up like a bath-hating-cat. Then there’s the pressure to “be-like-whoever”. For example, that person who loves running and wants you to love it; or that person that gets pumped by competitions and wants you to join in; or loves “whatever” and wants you to come along.

LEARN what you enjoy (at least a little bit), and if you have underlying health issues take those into consideration. Learn your body needs and capacity, remember my Frail Frame? Try everything. Have a routine, but don’t be rigid. Be fluid. Be coachable. Be consistent. Remember your Nutrition. If your body is depleted of nutrients, you’ll have no fuel.

I’ve tried classes. Watched videos. Ask my son for help and advise. Met a trainer and asked her for advise. My medical doctor is amazing. Lots and lots of my physical therapy sessions. In fact, at their recommendation I tried water classes.

Always learning. And, even on “off-days” I do a little something, because for me the benefits far out-weigh “no-movement” at all. My time at the gym is very therapeutic (unless I’m having people-issues, but, hey, they serve as writing material…haha!)

“No pain, no gain” is not for me. For me pain = check my form, modify, or stop. Stretching before and after my workout is not an options, it’s a necessity. My core is the most important part of my body. Everything stems from it. So, I am purposeful to work on it everyday. I’m not fast and furious; I’m slow and purposeful, always mindful of my form.

My routine: 1) Free Weights, 2) Bike, rowing machine or skiing machine, 3) water, 4) TRX or medicine ball or kettlebells, 5) water, 6) a fusion of pilates, yoga, physical therapy or salsa dancing or smooth jazz, 7) flexible day — depending on my body/can be water or mat work on my core. I also go in the sauna or steam room or jacuzzi – depending on the needs of my body. And this is where I, at times, do my meditation (Spiritually).

Hope this helps. Let’s keep walking together on this life journey. Glad to have you along.

Body ~ Mind ~ Soul ~ Spirit

Caring for the Whole Person

Frail Frame

I have always been sickly. I remember “joking” with my mom saying, “Hey, Mom, the reason I’ve always been sick is because you and Dad made me out of scraps.” She didn’t find the humor in this, but I thought it was hilarious. You see, I was pregnancy number 15.

female issues since I can remember, which ended in a hysterectomy at 21, which plummeted me into hormonal hell. migraines. fibromyalgia. chronic pain. chronic fatigue syndrome. degenerative osteoarthritis in my spine. sports injuries and falls, which have made for horrid arthritis in and around my coccyx. planters fasciitis with bone spurs in my heels. uncooperative, painful knees – I’ll stop cause I’m getting depressed typing this list :-/

Physical activity is not foreign to me, and, I actually enjoy it. But as I was facing one physical ailment after another, well, I was discouraged and, quite honestly, I thought I was doomed to a couch for the rest of my life. I continued my walking and attempted some jogging, but I would end up laid out for the rest of the day, and at times weeks.

As fate would have it, one of my daughter’s therapist recommended that she join a full service gym. He explained the benefits, and well, we budgeted and joined together. My daughter was autistic, and although she was high-functioning, I was her “security-blanket”. So there I was venturing into a huge-gym with my “shadow”. Supposedly, I was there for her, but little did she know that she helped me conquer so many fears. I felt like I was in high-school again (cringe). Here I was with my K-mart outfit and all around me were the fashionable-gym-bunnies. But the fact that I was there “for” my daughter, well, it just didn’t matter. Goodness, in February it will be 3 years that we took that plunge. So much has happened since, but I digress.

I’ve had to “rethink” physical activity. I’ve had to “regroup” over and over again. I’ve had to “revamp” a work out routine. And, modify, modify, modify. And, I’d venture to say “modification” will be my friend for the rest of my life. However, LORD willing, I will continue to “move”, even if it is at the pace of a turtle.

“Stop treating fitness like it’s a punishment. You can choose to eat and exercise in a way that significantly improves the way you look and feel. That’s not a punishment. That’s a privilege.” – cartergood

I’ll share my present exercise routine on a future post. Hope this encourages you to do something…anything…for the benefit of “the gift” you’ve been given ❤

Sights & Sounds

I guess the Freaks do go out at night. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I’m surprised by The Flash.

The Hot Hulk, let out a grunt, as he splattered the weights on the floor. I, seriously, thought he tore something, but nah, he continued with that annoying routine, flexing and being Mr. America. Lest you think he was a hunk of a man, the “hot” description is due to his face being so red I thought it was going to explode. Just needed to clarify that.

The Sleeping Giant was curled up in a corner. I think he forgot his blankie and teddy bear. I wonder if he found that routine on youtube? Is that the 2019 new and improved cardio-blast? I wonder if he took some kinda-supplement to maintain that rhythm? Seriously, nothing took his concentration off his routine. I’m kinda-jealous.

The Fashionable Snoozer has found that his favorite piece of equipment is the comfy couch (🐿 Why are there couches in the gym???). For a big man, he sure knows how to bend according to the cushions. Not sure what role the liquid coming out of his mouth plays in his routine, but I’m sure it’s beneficial because it’s flowing like Niagara falls. Such talent, and I’m happy to report that he has been consistent in it’s use the whole week. Just so talented!

On a serious note – if you have access to a gym, please take advantage of it. The benefits are amazing. For me it helps me as a “whole” person. I will share some of my ailments and my continued journey in a realm that can either be really hyped or really avoided. Again, I desire to share what is working for me. I also want to communicate that it is not a one-size-fit-all, and that changes inevitably happen. So stay tuned! We made it through the first regular week of 2019. Yay!!!

“You got to move it, move it…physically fit…” (singing with King Julien, Madagascar Movie)

Tools for the Journey

I’d like to pass along a few things that are helping me in coping with my PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, depressions, etc., etc.

small print in BIG BOLD LETTERS – I am NOT, I repeat, I am NOT a professional. My journey “continues”. What is working now, might not work later. And…so…on and so forth. Just sharing what is working for me.

  • I bought noise canceling headphones. So far so good. Also, I’m making it a practice of wearing them in the sauna. I found a guided meditation program, which typically lasts about 15 minutes. I either “listen” to that or soft instrumental music with my eyes closed to avoid distractions.
  • For the smells, I bring in a washcloth with peppermint on it. As I practice my breathing, I’ve incorporated placing the cloth in close proximity so as to breath in the peppermint. It invigorates me (added bonus, clears my sinuses).
  • My son shared with me some info about the carnivorous diet. I’m NOT all in, but I am trying. So far, all I can say is that “beef-makes-me-muy-happy” 😀

The journey continues. So grateful for clarity, and, yes, I’m beginning to sense a “spunk” in my step. AND, maybe, just maybe there is JOY in the “mourning”.

Word for 2019

As I said, Goodbye 2018, I wondered if I’d pick a “word” for 2019.

Reading, “it” came! Now, I wonder, in the mystery of it all, if The Word is the one that picks me? I wasn’t looking. I wasn’t trying. I was simply reading, and POW, there it was.

♥ ♥ ♥ Beloved ♥ ♥ ♥

I am loved by God⇐

I am loved by my Family⇐

No earning. No striving. Nothing to do. Nothing to prove. Simply accepting being LOVED.

“Wisdom is realizing [that] allowing someone to help us can be a much bigger task than actually helping someone else. Accepting help means releasing the judgement we’ve imposed on ourselves.” – Melki JK Russell

Hello 2019

I’ve been handed a gift. It’s opened and ready to be embraced. This is not like most gifts. A typical gift is given and opened at will. This gift has been handed to me and opened already, even if I didn’t want to receive it or open it. In a typical gift, one is able to see the entire contents of the package. This gift is one I get to “open” moment-by-moment. I can only “see” what’s in front of me. The future is unknown. Each moment a welcomed surprise, or a surprise I’d rather not have. However, “it” is still a marvelous gift. One not granted to many.

~ 365 days ~

And, so, I will continue to learn to Just Breathe…; to allow my pen to flow freely and let Ink Speaks; to embrace that I am Different; to Live! today, for tomorrow is not a guarantee; to Just be… present in the moment.

My husband, my son, my son’s girlfriend (who has become a dear friend), are my safe people. They love and support me – AND I do not take this for granted. I am keenly aware that not everyone is surrounded by such love and support.

So I lift my glass and toast with each one of you, my fellow sojourners. Grateful for the time you take to visit. Grab a chair and stay awhile, but only if you wish. If you pass by, thank you! Glad you found your way through this place.

Today I have my walking shoes on and am “ready” to continue the journey. Tomorrow, well, I can’t say. But, hey, in the “present”, I say let the pen be ready for what comes next 😀

Will you join me?