Seasons

Seasons come and seasons go. None stay for long. Each with its enchanting beauty or with its nightmarish toil. There was a time I had no concept of seasons. I’m sure I was taught about them in school, but I guess it wasn’t important enough for me to pay attention. The weather was either hot or cold, with nothing in between. I recall first being aware that “there was” different seasons, and that there was a “time” of the year in which they took place. I was mesmerized by this new found “lost” information. Why hadn’t anyone ever told me about them? Ha! Well, they had I was just not paying attention.

As life has continued, I’ve become “aware” of seasons in life. However, some life-seasons are as “predictable” as weather-seasons. Some life-seasons can linger far too long, while one aches under its oppressive load. Others, one wishes they had never ended…they were far too short.

Take winter for example. Some places have the beauty of snow, which makes for a winter wonderland. It’s what you see on post cards, on romantic movies. Those beautiful white Christmases. But what about when you are shoveling snow? Frost bite? Wet and frozen toes? Blizzards? You get my point. It also makes “everything” green die all around.

I live in California, so I am not in the midst of snow and such. But I remember a winter that lingered way too long. We had fruit trees in our back yard. Those trees ended up looking like horrid “bushes of dead sticks”. I was so over it. The sight was not one I was fond of looking at every day. I was ready to yank everything out and “start over”. Maybe it’s the “controlling person” in me or the “fixer”, but something had to be done. The gift of “waiting” was definitely not mine. My husband convinced me to wait, which was no easy task.

Come Spring, I was mesmerized by the beauty of “regrowth”. Each bud, each shoot, each sign of “new life” was breath taking. I was grateful I waiting, although not very patiently.

TODAY I’m up to my neck, and at times completely submerged in “snow”. I have “no-shovel”, and even if I had one, I have no strength to “shovel-myself-out”. My winter-season is brutal and frigid. And, at times it feels like it will last forever. However, TODAY, I am reminded of those horrid-dead-bushes in my old backyard. AND…I have HOPE!

~~~ Spring always follows Winter ~~~

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens” ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1

Randomness

♦♦♦I’m torn between the smell of BO or perfume. Just can’t seem to make up my mind. But then again, it might be the smell of garlic (remember Putrid Smell?). Something about working out next to a person that is bathe in perfume, even if it’s “Passion” by Elizabeth Taylor. People, sweat and perfume just don’t mix well! On the other hand there is the o-natural-bod-scent…yeah, well, enough said. I’m really leaning toward a third option, a nice clean smell, what do you think?

♦♦♦Trying to wrap my head around full on make up – at the gym – at 3:00am. I have some serious questions y’all. Are your lashes going to fall? Is it waterproof? Is that white towel going to remain white? Did you sleep? Why? Why? Why? Ok, I’m done…I’m moving on 😉

♦♦♦ Why do I always pick the bathroom stall that is out of toilet paper. Seriously, this is getting old. Is my guardian angel sleeping on the job or what? The things I have to come up with. If there really is a “big brother” always watching, Big-Bro has gotten a lot of laughs at my expense. I should be generously compensated for providing entertainment to Big-Bro. This is high quality entertainment, people.

~~ Laughter is good! Sarcasm is…well…sarcasm ;-p ~~

On a serious note, my Therapist recommended a “service dog” to help with my PTSD. We are seriously contemplating it. Has anyone else tried this? What’s your take?

“When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.” ~ Anonymous

Love

Who are you looking for?  Who are you hoping to find?

Disappointed by my humanness

my brokenness brings you to doubt

Omnipresent I am NOT

Protector only One

Boxed in by expectations; assailed by whispering tongues

You say this is LOVE

Love is patient ♥ Love is kind

A box that suffocates and wounds

Love does not seek its own

♥LOVE never fails♥

The Impact of Words

“I’m so proud of you!” Wait, did you just say that to me? I must have heard wrong. You don’t mean it. You’re just saying that…and on and on and on.

Used to having every word and decision questioned, positive feedback is hard to accept. I remember once I was asked to handle a task. I asked for all the requirements and such. The person giving me the lead said, “You got this! I know you can handle this. I trust you.” I almost fell off my seat. In fact, I myself questioned “my every decision”, so afraid of making a mistake. Once the task was finished, I remember thinking, “I did it! And, it went really well.” I was so surprised.

Words can build or tear down!  Words can wound or heal! They can be said to me or I can say them to others.

Let me be slow to speak and quick to listen. Quick to give positive feedback, and slow, or better yet keep my mouth shut when tempted to criticize or tear down.