Brain Explosion

It’s grocery shopping day. Gym√ Breathing and Meditation√ Driving with soothing music, and more purposeful breathing√

Grocery list in hand, let’s get this done without an “episode”…breathe…breathe!

Woman next to me drops a steel container…HUGE THUD followed by smaller ones, not because they are quieter but because my “brain exploded“…

the ringing in my ears is deafening…headache…trembling…shaking hands and legs, the whole body…do I hide, I can’t…I need to run and get out of here, I’m paralyzed…let’s get this done, how do I continue?…stupid woman, doesn’t she know? she doesn’t; she didn’t do it on purpose…scream, you can’t, it’s a public place…can they see me shaking? who cares!…more noise, really?!…my skin is crawling with ants, no it’s not…God, help me!…I can’t breath, yes you can…I’m going to vomit, seriously, here?! stop it!

I’m out, safe in my car. Now I need to drive home…how did I get home? Curl up in my comfy (safe) rocker, all blinds closed…sleep…sleep…sleep. Wake up exhausted, detached from reality…what day is it? what time? did I eat? do I eat? I hate this! what happened? how did I get home? Do I care? I’m going crazy! Who am I?

The brain is quiet, for now. The body is calm, for now. But, I wonder…when will it happen again???

50 Follows

WordPress just informed me that I have reached 50 follows. Wow! I am humbled!

Thank you! I don’t consider you “followers”. We are all sojourners in this life journey ( The Journey Begins ). I am honored to walk this journey with such great company. Whether you stop by for a visit or stay a while, I am grateful for each and every one of you.

Some of the reasons why I Write… And I Write…

So let’s keep “walking”…the journey continues. Glad to have you along.

The Unforgettable Crate

It was a crisp December day. The beehive buzz around the village was thick. One of their own would be arriving today. Not with the usual fanfare, however, this arrival was one robed with the blackness of grief and sorrow. The house had been readied for the owners arrival. This time, however, the bedding was not washed and pressed because it’s owner would not be sleeping in her bed. The front room was set up with the customary stands and candles to hold the all night wake.

The unmarked van turns the corner.  Could that be? People straighten up and stand, a sign of honor and respect. The youngest daughter waiting to sign the paperwork indicating she had received the “cargo”.

The van parks to the side of the road. Back door opens. What?! A wooden crate?!?!?!

The youngest daughter paralyzed at the sight. Nausea threatened to make her loose whatever she had managed to eat. “Nobody told me…! I just can’t…!” her thoughts shattered by the pounding of a hammer…P-O-P! P-O-P! P-O-P!

AND so it went…FOREVER…and ever! Each “pop” releasing a nail. Nail after nail that held this crate together, pounded…releasing each nail, and with each pound her heart sank deeper and deeper in pain and unbelief.

She stood paralyzed by feelings of sadness and anger. A slow rage boiling inside. “This is a human body, for God’s sake! She might be lifeless, but she still deserves honor and respect!”, thoughts screaming within.

Fulfilling her mother’s last dying wish came at a great price, both emotionally and financially. But here they were. It was what it was…no turning back!

Images that stay; that haunt; that you wish you could erase. And, so life continues…but you can never see a “crate” the same again.

Death by Spanx

The special day was fast approaching. Ms. Thang was a buzz getting herself ready for the big day. Perfect dress, shoes to match. Let’s not forget the jewelry to bling up the attire. Hair and nail appointment inked on the day runner.

Sitting with a friend, much talk about the many things that still needed her attention, a suggestion, “Hey, spanx would make your dress fit “perfectly”. Don’t get me wrong, it already looks really good, but that extra touch, well it would just be fiu-fiu!” AND, hey, who doesn’t want to look “photoshopped” (at least one day)?

Ms. Thang set out to find the “infamous spanx”. Having no clue, knowing nothing about this piece of garment that would put her outfit over the top. Asked at a few places, but still unable to find this perfect garment. Finally, she arrives where the gal behind the counter doesn’t look at her like, “are you from Mars, lady?” This nice gal shows her a few pieces(literally) and gives her some pointers. Ms. Thang heads into the dressing room with two pieces in hand.

Queue the “OMG, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER” song…wait, different commercial…anywho…IT WASN’T PRETTY  =8-0

Ms. Thang was resolved to at least get one of these pieces of perfection past her thighs. So she tried the one that went over her head. Good move, don’t you think?

She pulled, yanked…breath…pull, yank…ouch…more pulling, more yanking…OMG, it’s stuck!!! Paralyzed by this “rubber band” around her. Out of breath! In a position of a football umpire announcing a goal (the images are scandalous).  Many thoughts went through her head. One was, “I’m going to be found naked, strangled by a piece of cloth, a vicious cloth at that!” My husband is going to get the call, “Mr. Thang, your wife was found dead. Killed by spanx!”

How she managed to “get away” is still a very dark mystery. The good news is that she lived to tell about it. By the way, the dress fit just fine without this precious garment, thank you very much.

And, so the “rolls” ran free! Yes, “photoshopped” is not the only way to fly 😉

Blissfully Lost

Las dos amigas out for a time of pampering. The plan was set, the guys would eat and watch the soccer game while the girls get a day of rest, relaxation and pampering. Kiss, kiss and off they went.

The taxi driver didn’t seem to be “in service”, but then again everything moves slowly in La Paz. I guess that’s why one gets away. He finally agreed to shuttle them to their destination. Girls talk and talk, and giggle ready for their pampering. The driver, on the other hand, seems lost. He asked, one too many times, “What does your phone say?” to which the reply was always, “we have no WiFi”. Finally, at their destination!

The “look” of said oasis promised much. As they walked in they were greeted with sour looks. So much for “walk ins welcomed”. Icily turned away, “no room in the in”. A ray of hope rose in the horizon as one of the clients showed the discouraged amigas another location, AND it happened to be “right around the corner” (hold that thought). Off they went, with their plan “still” in place…pampering!

Blocks, and blocks, and blocks they walked…umm, “are we there yet?” There it is! Yes! The sign on the door shattered their plans, once again, “we’ve moved to a new location…” Taking this as a “sign from above”, they decided to head back to meet back with the guys.

Lost, yup, they were so lost. Walking, walking…hey, so I guess they did get a massage – of their feet…haha!

A wonderful little boy showed them the way. Yes, they are finally at the malecon (walk way by the beach). From here they can find their way “home”.

~~Blissfully lost, not a care in the world. The company of a caring and loving friend made all the difference. The talk was deep and fun. There were tears and much laughter. Somehow, I wish we were still lost…blissfully lost!~~