The sound of the pounding waves ~ ~ calming…soothing
drowning out my weary soul
Pounding, wave after wave ~ ~ crashing…soothing
at the break of dawn…sunrise ringing in a new day
His mercies are new every morning
a welcomed sight to my numb soul
The vastness of these waters cannot drown out love
it magnifies it
it amplifies it
Take it in, oh hurting soul…drink deeply and be refreshed
The thought. The decision. The plan. Support in place. The day had come, unannounced and without fanfare. No spiral. No fight. I guess, somehow, she knew it was time. Resolute and steady.
The walk, eternally long, even thought it was only a few steps away. Legs soft as wet noodles, yet heavy as lead. Standing before a sacred place, surrounded by love and support. In an instant her mind flooded with memories – laughs. giggles. good nights. good mornings. hugs. smiles. love —– screams. tears. pain. sorrow. grief…GOODBYE!
Prayer – Deep breath – Prayer – Deep breath
“I CAN’T! Yes, it’s time. This doesn’t keep her alive. She is not here. You are not forgetting her. BUT…I can’t! Yes, it’s time. BUT…“, the tumultuous thoughts flooded her mind. Surrender. Acceptance. Shoulders down. Clenched hands released. Slow and Steady, the process began.
The soft blue blanket, that she loved to curl with. The teddy bear she tenderly clung to. The shirt that draped her little torso. The pillow, where her little head laid; where tears and sweat drenched it’s every inch. Piece by piece…tearing at my heart. WAIT?!?! How does something that has been obliterated into pieces, break even more? Oh, the mystery of LOVE.
And, so, the bed that held her frail, little body; where she was ushered from this life to the next, was stripped of its garments…two months short of the anniversary of the second year of her departure…Another marker…Another step. Propelled and held by love and acceptance. Oh, the mystery of LOVE.
~ winter has passed ~
⇒♦♦for now♦♦⇐
If the coldness & deadness of winter was all there was,
then I’d be stuck in The Path
If the pain & discomfort of childbearing was it’s end,
then I’d miss the joy of a New Life
If the worm infested grave was The End,
then I’d have no purpose for Living
🖤HOPE – beyond the here and now🖤
✝️HOPE – beyond the grave✝️
My daughter was in the autism spectrum. Her comprehension could be difficult at times. Remember the Love Boat🖤🌹? This time of the year was one of great difficulty. It was cruel on her heart and mind, because she thought “everyone” had a special someone. She felt she was the only one in the world without a valentine. Oh, how she cried! She thought that because she was ugly and “different”, nobody wanted her. We had many conversation, where I’d try to make her understand differently.
My heart wells up with gratitude at the thought of two men who took the time to make my beautiful girl feel as special as she was. They didn’t have to. They weren’t told to. It came from a heart of love.
♥My son (Angie’s big bro) took her on a special date for valentines day. She was besides herself. She had me help her pick the perfect outfit, doing her make up, and helping her with her hair. She felt like a princess. She talked about it, and talked about it. Such a special day for her, and him.
♥A family member brought her fresh flowers every Saturday. We would place them where she could smell and see them. They would brighten up her days. Even on those horrid treatment days, she’d smile when she would see her beautiful flowers.
Just two examples of love and kindness. They might seem small, but they were enormous in a my daughter’s eyes. And, this Momma is beyond grateful.
We decorated her grave…that’s just what we do. But, the memories of love shown to her on this earth are engraved on our hearts.
Can you think of someone that might need a little extra love? Take the time. Your love and kindness lasts beyond the grave🌸✝️
Does anybody remember that show (The Love Boat)? Funny, how the brain works. As I typed those words, immediately I started to hum the theme song. I guess theme songs are meant to be catchy. Anywho, I’m guessing that social media will start to ease up on all the “new year resolution posts” and now begins the “love posts”.
Queue the romantic songs ~ the perfect ambiance ♥ the candle light dinners ♥ the long-stem-red-roses ♥ chocolates ♥ stuffed animals ♥ jewelry(cause if he loves you, he goes to Jared – another commercial…hehe!).
Is any of this wrong? Absolutely not! Hey, if you can afford (key word) it, then, whatever rocks your boat. The place I’m coming from is a place where what you “see” as “the perfect valentines” creates discontentment in you, which in turns makes you horridly depressed and a bear to live with. Believe me, I know!
I remember when my husband bought me long stem red roses, cause, I whined and complained about “everybody’s” getting them. Let’s just say that we got the credit card bill, and payed it after them dead roses where in the trash. Yeah, no!
We have decided that everyday is a special day. Each moment is a gift. We don’t have to wait to show “our love” for each other just on just Valentines Day. And, you know what? We can actually afford some flowers now. Our life-dance continues. Two-step, one-step, side to side…we move and shift as we go.
Learn your mate. Learn to communicate. And, be totally flexible, cause when it’s all said and done with…it’s the small things that matter, and TIME is the greatest gift.
♥ ~ Love Is In The Air ~ ♥
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