Gym Swell

The first “regular” Monday of the year brings an onslaught of new people desiring to begin afresh their work-out routine. The crowds are coming in causing the place to swell up with energetic resolutions. I foresee Gym Rant after Another Gym Rant in my future.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for more Putrid Smell, but, this time I think I’m ready, peppermint in hand. As for The Sauna, well, I’ve already been tested:

Two young girls, cussing like sailors. Speaking about things I, nor anyone, need to hear. Do they think they are cool? Do they think they sound interesting? Big, bad…whatever!

A guy with blasting music. As a woman, I hate being called a b**ch. Every reference to a woman in those sexually-laced lyrics…really?! What was being done to the woman, was explicit and vile. Is there no respect? Can the bedroom be a sanctuary for two? I was disgusted and he was oblivious. Gentleman know how to treat a lady.

On another note – just my two cents on a topic that is close to my heart. If you are new to exercising or the gym routine, get yourself a buddy or someone that knows what they are doing. I remember walking into a gym for the first time and how overwhelming and intimidating it was. The only reason I walked in was because I was there to support my daughter, which really worked out for both of us. Then I met an amazing woman, who happened to be a personal trainer. She took us under her wing and showed us the ropes. In February it will be 3 years that I’m a “regular” in the gym scene. The benefits of working out are numerous. One being my mental health.

So, let’s move it, move it! Otherwise we lose it 😉

Binding Garments

Should my clothes be a comfortable piece of garment, simply used to cover myself or should they be torturous arsenals inflicting pain at every turn? I don’t know! I’d like to go with door number 1, please. Cause, hey, there is already enough torture without me inflicting it upon myself. Just sayin…

Have you seen some of the corsets used ages ago? Someone literally pulling strings while the person inside this horrid pieces of cloth is tightened, and tightened. I wonder how their eyes didn’t pop out. How did they eat? How did they move? Heck, how did they breathe? Remember Ms. Thang and her Death by Spanx? Yeah, pretty traumatic!

Maybe the new year and all the fitness resolutions being splattered all over the place that has my Inquiring Mind going.

How does one choose a sports bra? A comfortable, non-binding piece of garment…please! I know, I know, “more bounce to the ounce” is a catchy song lyric, and on the dance floor, it just might work. But, hey, it has no place on the gym floor. Jumping jacks without “support” is not a picture I want my eyes to behold. The need to keep them “girls” nicely in place is, well, needed. Especially as one gets older. Of course, this is a total reference to someone else 😉

Just to get into some of these contraptions is a workout in and of itself. Seriously! And, getting out of them…well, just pass the vaseline, please!

How do we solve this problem? How do we come up with a solution to this dilemma? I simply don’t know, my dear, Watson. It’s a continual unsolved mystery. One that I am sure, will yield much material for writing 😉

Pool Time

It’s a cold rainy day in Cali. I figured my 3:30 a.m. gym time would be a quiet and relaxing one, since I’d be working-out in the pool. BUT I guess “the kids” are on vacay or something cause there was a few rug-rats present in all their hyperactive selves. Yeah, flips in the pool are not very kind to those around you. I’m surprised there was any water left in the pool…seriously! AND, no parents in site. I guess it would have been really awkward for “boys” their age to be accompanied by a chaperone. Their age and facial hair might be a sign of them being adults, cause their actions and manners were far from civil 8-/

Then there is the issue with wearing ankle high socks with…drum roll please…flip flops! Yes, I can hear you gasping, too. Some fashion statements are just not for the faint at heart.

And, the butt-crack issue continues…I just don’t get it.

The gym saga continues…stay tuned for more 😉

Monday Musings

The beginning of a new week. Fresh, clean, ready to take on the world! “What will this week bring”, I ask. With energy and stamina after an “off day”, I head to the gym. Oh, Gymboland, you never disappoint with your many side shows and aggravations. It’s usual locker room antics, with it’s noises and views. The selfie station in front of the mirror. The “I own this whole row” spread and the mad-dog faces wanting to look mean and tough. I sometimes wonder if “we” ever left high school? (Gym Rant , Another Gym Rant, Inquiring Mind)

California’s weather is changing and with it lots of coughs and sniffles. Would it be rude to carry a disinfectant spray? People simply do not know how to cover their cough and sneezes. Then you have people with open mouth breathing…goodness! Why?!?!

Nonetheless, got it done! Endorphins flowing to the brain. Ready for the day. Here’s hoping for a “balanced”, productive day 😀

Another Gym Rant

Morning y’all! My brain is doing better, thank you very much. So hot off the “presses” I bring you another Gym Rant. Gymboland is always a reliable source for writing material and extreme frustration for this “on-the-edge-girl”. But, hey, it could be worse…or could it?

Having stayed up past my bedtime, I ended up going a little later than usual to the gym. I thought “common sense” was lacking in the 3:00 am crowd, don’t know, maybe not enough sleep? Nope, I was wrong, common sense is NON-EXISTENT!

Questions, questions, questions…

To the lady sitting on the hip abductor (for at least 30 minutes) watching her telenovela, I’d ask, “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in your warm casita, sipping a delicious cup of hot cafecito while you enjoy your telenovela on your big screen TV?” “Girl, but you are rocking that “on-point” gym outfit, so I guess you had to show it off.  Can you, maybe, walk around, yes?!?!”

To the cute young lady who jumped around for 15 minutes, then slept for an hour on that uncomfortable chair, I’d say, “I think your comfy bed would give you more spinal support. You might need a chiropractor appointment after that twisted nap.”

To the half naked lady (in the sauna) who slithered her way by me, and behind me with absolutely no respect for my personal space and my things, I’d ask, “Did you really just do that? Did you see me? Did you see my things? Do you care?” Nope! “All you cared for was laying yo-neked-bod-on-someone-else’s-spot!”

To the lady washing herself at the sink (yes…yes), I’d say, “Girl, you know there’s showers right behind you? It might be faster and easier, no se…just sayin!” 8-0

Oh, and I think I’ll carry a wad of tissues cause all that “slurping” is just not cool. Still working out the logistics as to how to “cordially” hand them out, though. Might need to work on a good plan for this…hehe!

Yes, folks, Gymboland – the happiest place on earth – has lived up to it’s name. Never a dull moment in this place, and guess what? You don’t even need an E-Ticket 😉

Putrid Smell

Plan in place. Expectations high. That room held much promise. Walking in she was assaulted by the violence of a title wave. A cascade that enveloped every part of her being by a putrid stench that filled that room. She pushed through, resolved to fulfill her plan. Watery eyes and burning nostrils would not deter her. The nausea would subside, soon; she hoped, cause there was a plan and it needed to be fulfilled.

A round opening was the source of this deadly gas. No promise of it closing any time soon, it oozed and oozed…at times whizzing. Can he be gone already…PLEASE! Nope, another deep breath in preparation for another wave of “assault” on the senses. And, so it went on…and on…and on.

The torturous assault is finally over. Time is up. Until the next time.

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Folks, I am back at the sauna. Yes, I’m a sucker for punishment 😉

I love garlic in a yummy pasta dish, garlic toast, etc. It makes for a flavorful mouthful of yumminess. However, smelling digested garlic, well, it just isn’t a favorite past time. Let’s face it, the sauna has many funky odors, however, this one just blew me out of the water. I’m thinking that on my next “adventure” I’ll bring something to offset that horrid assault on my nostrils. We will see…

Inquiring Mind

Inquiring minds want to know…I have questions…lots of questions.

I’m thinking that maybe my next “project” will be a “Gym Etiquette Manual”…ha!ha! Not really, but that might not be a bad idea.

To the man who wears only a towel to the steam room – why? Seriously, why? Working out with long pants (pajama bottoms), long sleeve shirt (thermal) and your head and part of your face covered, but you shed it all for the steam room. You do know this is a co-ed gym, yes? You do know that towel doesn’t cover you while you are doing karate kicks?

To the man that wears only long john underpants to the sauna – just not sure what to ask, but that image hurts my eyes 8-\

I don’t know about you, but “if” I have a (clears throat) wedgy, I yank that puppy out promptly cause, well, that’s just what you do. Not this other guy! Does he know? Should I tell him?

So I thought only plumbers aired out their crack. Well, I was wrong…oh, so wrong!!!

To the efficient, new male employee, ummm, coming out of the shower (in the women’s lockers/showers) to find you there just doesn’t sit well with me. Not sure if you read the memo. Not sure this is proper etiquette…just sayin!

Enough inquiries for today. I think I’ll go work on my first draft of that manual 😉